XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS

Although I probably only watched a handful of episodes, I really liked the image of Zena, Warrior Princes. She was so tough and had inexplicably great hair in the midst of battle. She had great skill with a sword and looked regal on her pure white horse. The story line is that in order to redeem herself for killing innocent people previously, she fought for good – especially for the less fortunate – with her friend and helper Gabrielle.

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IT’S NOT HOW IT LOOKS!

I recently purchased a new face powder. Having just received it before I set out on a trip for work, I threw it into my makeup bag and did not “road test” it until I was actually on the road. After applying my new translucent powder to polish up my look, I was running late and about to dash out the door, when I saw something that stopped me in my tracks – the fine white powder on the counter in front of the make-up mirror.

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DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN

Last Monday was Ground Hog Day – a day when we ask a rodent to predict the weather. In case you missed it: Spring is coming early this year. Here in Texas it seems like winter isn’t coming at all. And I’m not mad about that.

To many folks, Ground Hog Day means watching the movie of that same name, starring Bill Murray and Ande McDowell. In it, Murray’s character gets stuck in a loop of time – going through Ground Hog Day again, and again, and again, and again. Murray’s character does everything in his power to try to get out of that loop, but he can’t.

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DABBING AND DANCING IN THE END ZONE: SPIKING IS OPTIONAL

Super Bowl Sunday is upon us in the USA. This coming Sunday, the Carolina Panthers and Denver Broncos will battle it out in Super Bowl 50. So, this is a big game. I was skimming the news this morning and saw the on-going hoopla over the dabbing and dancing in the end zone of Cam Newton Panther’s Quarterback. His quote back is this, “if you don’t like it, don’t let me into the end zone.”

Providentially, our lesson today in the Beth Moore Bible Study, Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman, covered the celebration of the Jews of Persia over peace they achieved after the victory over their enemies that had planned to wipe them out in one day. It’s an incredible story and a great study.

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IT’S NOT THE CIRCLE OF LIFE UNLESS YOU CLOSE THE LOOP

If you saw the animated film The Lion King, you probably recall the song “The Circle of Life.” For the film, of course, the idea was that when you die your body nourishes the earth so that flowers and plants can grow to provide for the next generation.

When it comes to real life, those of us who call ourselves Christians must consider more than just what happens to our bodies when we go. We must consider more than what we will leave to our children or the success of our business lives. We must consider the Spiritual legacy that we will leave behind for the next generation.

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STOP FOLLOWING ME!

There was a time when people complained about not being recognized. You know, you went into a store for the 25th time and they still didn’t know you or remember that you always came in for that one brand of pantyhose you love and you always buy 10 pairs of exactly the same size/color/style every time. Then there were those mass emails or letters just sent to “Dear Sir/Madam” or “Current Resident” advertising something you’d never use like a John Deer tractor when you live in an apartment in New York City or a free pregnancy test for a 105 year old man.

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MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL

I am not 100% sure what I look like. At least I’m not sure how you see me. Part of the problem is this: there are four mirrors in my bathroom – one over each of the two sinks and two over the tub – and each one gives a slightly different representation of my reflection. In fact, there is one of the four that I “affectionately” call the “fat mirror” and my policy is that if I look good reflected in that one, then I am “good to go.”

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HOW TO WIN A THREE-LEGGED RACE

Not too long ago I was watching a Shirley Temple movie called “The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer.” It also starred Gregory Peck. In the movie Gregory Peck participated in a three-legged race as part of his effort to show off for the ladies. And I wondered, does anybody still do three-legged races? Of course it was a romantic comedy so Peck, who was trying to impress a woman, fell down and didn't do very well.


His ineptness and comic failure at the three-legged race got me to thinking about how marriage is a three-legged race. I don't know if you've ever participated in a three-legged race, but if you did you know it can be much more difficult than it sounds. You need a plan for success and you need to work the plan together.

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CUTS LIKE A KNIFE

Sometimes at certain times we, as Christians, may be tempted to figuratively "beat someone over the head with the truth" or with the Word of God. Sometimes, in certain cases, we may be tempted to say "God, I know vengeance is Yours, so I give it to you," and then advise God on how to do that by really "giving it to them" - like David did occasionally in his Psalms (see, for example Ps. 58:6-7).  Maybe we even look forward to Jesus' return when He will rule with a rod of iron and think “I know someone who needs to be hit with a rod of iron.” (Rev. 12: 5; 19:15) Maybe we even point other sinners (not me!) to Hebrews 4:12 with an attitude that says (though we might not actually say it) "read the Word - it will CUT you."

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ACRYLIC NAIL RELIGION

I am not one of those women who always has fake nails. I’m not against them. In fact, I love the way they look. So, every year or so I decide I am going to “get my nails done” and I head to the salon for a set of French manicure acrylic nails. Even though I really like having them, the upkeep is more than I can bear because I have to drive 40 minutes each way every other Sunday and sit there for 30 minutes or more while they fill and file them back into mint condition. Don’t get me started on how long it takes to remove them and restart the process (which you have to do regularly as well)! 

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AN ATHEIST AND BETH MOORE WALK INTO A BAR

Does that make any sense? No, of course not. It makes no sense for very many reasons. However, today’s blog is brought to you by inspiration that started with today’s lesson from the Beth Moore Study of Esther and a meme posted on Facebook by my brother the atheist. The feeling that this is what I need to write about is so strong that I’m putting off the “Acrylic Nail Religion” blog until next week.

When Mordecai and the other Jews in Persia heard that they were condemned, how did they respond? They responded by weeping, mourning, putting on sackcloth and ashes and fasting. (Esther 4:1-3)

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I KNOW THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN AND I AM NOT HER

I am not a big fan of the Proverbs 31 Woman. I don’t mean the one in the Bible. I mean the one who sits next to me sometimes in church. The one who always knows the Greek behind that tricky scripture – the one who can make a rambunctious boy mind his manners with just a look – the one who makes every husband swoon with her melt-in-your-mouth pot roast and made-from-scratch coconut cream pie – who helps at the soup kitchen and the women’s shelter and the homeless shelter – whose kids win the academic ribbons at school competitions and who has been a size 2 since high school. I don’t mean she fakes it or is arrogant with it. This is just really is who she is and how her life works.

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WHAT DO YOU MEAN: “THIS AIN’T YOUR GRANDMA’S CHURCH LADY?”

If you are from my generation and possibly if you are a big Saturday Night Live fan, you have heard of the comedian Dana Carvey’s famous Church Lady skit. If you’ve never seen it, you can check it out on YouTube.

Dana Carvey’s interpretation of the Church Lady is funny in part because it has been too often true. Carvey’s Church Lady was harsh, judgmental, accusatory, impatient, “holier than you,” and seemed to be perpetually unhappy. Her demeanor caused fear in those she interviewed, or at least made them feel bad about themselves. Sometimes they had it coming.

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